Doctor Stephen Strange : Professional Shopper
by sudoku
Summary: "You helped Stark to shop on Black Friday! He is a billionaire. He could just buy the stores and their contents." "Apparently doing so it's not a great return on investment. Tony tried it a few years ago as he wanted to buy some presents for Pepper. She was not ecstatic. He saw me creating Images of Ikonn to fight Thanos so he had the idea of me carrying multiple shopping for him"


-Not a native so please kindly point out any mistakes  
-Thanks to Pom_Rania for the quick beta work. The rest of the mistakes are mine.  
-Warning: Some OOC behaviours to allow this crack to happen, slight spoilers to Doctor Strange - Superheroes' (plus antiheroes' and supervillains') Physician Extraordinaire

* * *

A portal opened to Stephen's study and an unamused Wong stepped through it. He put down his StarkPad in front of the doctor."Please tell me it's another Stephen Strange."

Stephen looked up from his book to stare at his best friend. "Good morning to you too."

"Don't avoid the subject. Please read this and say it's not you."

"I didn't know you read Twitter."

Wong crossed his arms in front of his chest and sat heavily on the chair opposite Stephen. "Just read it, please."

"Fine. Why the sour face? Did somebody steal your books or something?"

"Just read it."

He picked up the StarkPad with his shaking hands. "I think I need to change my profile picture to match my new description, don't you think? Perhaps I should take picture of myself with multiple arms to convince people I could carry a lot of things at once. Well, people might still think it's being photoshopped but at least it's more convincing."

"So it's really you. What you were thinking? Your profile says _Doctor Stephen Strange, Superheroes', Antiheroes', and Supervillains' Physician Extraordinaire; and Professional Shopper. If you need any of my service, please drop by 177A Bleecker Street._ "

"I don't know if you don't notice but I really am a medical doctor and I also have a doctorate degree so my title is correct."

"You know that's not what I have a problem with. At least you don't tell people that you are a sorcerer."

"I know that Master of Mystic Arts part is supposed to be a secret. Well, I treat superheroes, anti heroes, and super villains equally. Do you have something against the Hippocratic Oath?"

Wong pulled at Stephen's robe. Sophie pushed the librarian back to protect his master. Wong backed down. "Of course the Cloak of Levitation would still protect you even when you do idiotic things. You were kidnapped and attacked a few times when you worked in that Night Nurse Clinic for one day which must be a new record since other doctors and nurses were safe when they worked there. If it were not for Coulson and his team, we would've lost you."

"Hey, I rescued myself."

"Sure."

"It's the truth." Stephen huffed because he would have escaped just fine without Coulson.

"Yeah, fine. I don't want you to work in the clinic anymore. And you just announced your address on Twitter so of course you invite supervillains to attack here. But that's not what I have problem with at this moment. It's the professional shopper part. What were you thinking? Of course you don't think. In here you tweeted. _Need a last minute Christmas shopping but don't have the time and the means to do so? In that case, you could contact Doctor Stephen Strange either via Twitter or text this number. You just need to tell me which stores you want to get your goods and the rest is history. Satisfied customers include Tony Stark, Thor, Spider-Man, Black Widow, Daredevil, Hawkeye, and The Hulk._ You actually took their pictures with you. So much for being discreet. _Service starts from $500 and the rest of the fees depends on the presents and the locations of the stores_."

"Well, we as the Masters of Mystic Arts need money. It seems I'm the only one who thinks that we need __real__ money, not metaphysical money, to survive, Christmas is approaching so now is a good time to advertise."

"Stark was the one suggesting it, wasn't he? I'm going to kill him after I kill you first." Sophie straightened her collars. "Metaphorically speaking of course. You're so grounded." Sophie relaxed and dropped back on Stephen's shoulders.

"He was joking after I successfully helped him shop on Black Friday. He said _You're so good at this, you should become a professional shopper._ "

"You helped Stark to shop on Black Friday?! He is a billionaire. Why does he need to buy things on sale? He could just buy the stores and their contents?"

"Apparently doing so is not a great return on investment. Tony tried it a few years ago as he wanted to buy some presents for Pepper. She was not ecstatic."

"I could only imagine."

"So what prompted him to ask you in the first place? Is he crazy?"

"Is that a rhetorical question? Anyway, he saw me creating _Images of Ikonn_ to fight Thanos so he had the idea of me carrying multiple shopping items for him. Don't ask me why he thought of shopping while we were fighting Thanos. After Thanksgiving, he was panicking because he needed to get some Christmas presents for Pepper and he wanted to go during Black Friday because apparently saving a few thousands of dollars would put him in Pepper's good book or something like that. I might have helped him with the idea because I might have suggested that I could also open portals to different stores and if he were to miss some sales, I could always rewind time."

Wong drew a few deep breaths. After he recovered, he stared at Stephen. "Have you misused the Time Stone again?"

"Hey, I never misuse it. So far, I haven't used the Time Stone to help those superheroes to shop. Apparently being able to open a portal anywhere and having multiple arms really help shopping. Besides, if I were to use the Time Stone, it would be to help all the financial need of the sorcerers, not for myself."

"So noble of you. How are you going to explain your portal and multiple arms at the stores? I'm surprised there isn't a single picture of you using your powers yet up on any social media."

"Unlike Tony I'm-Iron-Man Stark, I know how to be discreet." Wong snorted. "I always disable the cameras at the stores before I enter and enable them when I leave. Being able to cast forgetful charms also help."

"I'm so glad you don't decide to become a robber after you learned magic."

"Of course, I don't. Hang on, are you serious?"

Wong just shrugged.

"Come on, did you seriously think I would turn evil once I learned magic?"

Wong just shrugged. He needed to give his best friend a taste of his own medicine. Of course after knowing Stephen for a while, he knew the doctor didn't have any hidden malevolent streak. Well, he was impulsive, stubborn, and reckless but those were not malevolent. Usually he ended up hurting himself, not others.

"Gee, thanks for the trust. Anyway, Tony was so elated that I managed to get all the items in his list so he gave me a five-grand bonus. I said it kinda defeated the purpose of Black Friday but he said I had helped him save twenty grands so he had still saved fifteen grands. He said he would recommend my service to others. Then the rest is history."

"How could Spider-Man and some other superheroes afford you? Not everyone is rich like Stark."

"I didn't charge them. I genuinely wanted to help. Even now, if the customer can't afford it, I'll charge them perhaps only for $1 but I need to advertise it for the rich because we still need the money so we could afford to protect our dimension."

Wong was touched at the sincerity of his friend. He was still because somehow his idiotic friend was going to hurt himself. Murphy's Law at work. He couldn't think of anything to stop his stubborn friend. His curiosity was piqued though. "What would Spider-Man need?"

"More web fluid."

"Daredevil?"

"More canes and sunglasses."

"Thor?"

"More pop tarts and other Midgardian ale and delicacies. He was buying them for the New Asgard. He even asked me to buy some knives which I think in hindsight was for Loki. I swear I didn't think about it back then." Stephen visibly shuddered.

"Of course you don't think. Black Widow?"

"More weapons."

"Let me guess, more arrows for Hawkeye."

"You've got it."

"What would the Hulk possibly need?"

"More stretchy purple pants and a lot of food. Hulk likes his candies and ice cream."

"So like you then."

"Do you think I look good in purple pants?"

Wong rolled his eyes. "I'm sure I'm going to regret this. I allowed you to work in the NIght Nurse for one day and you hurt yourself so badly. I guess I can't stop you once you've decided to do something stupid. I'll approve you to become a professional shopper but if you manage to hurt yourself or reveal the existence of magic, I will tie you down in your bed and will not let you out for one month. I'm not kidding."

"Deal. Let's shake on it." Stephen extended his right hand and smiled so widely like Christmas had come early for him.

Wong noticed the slight tremor in his friend's hand, he sometime forgot that Stephen had this disability because he was so enthusiastic in anything that excited him. He was really glad that Stephen chose to be good rather than evil. He shook on Stephen's hand. "Deal. And Happy Belated Birthday. Let's celebrate it at Kamar-Taj. I actually came here to invite you but then I read your tweets and forgot about it."

Stephen's smile brightened even more. Even Sophie seemed to perk up at the idea of a party as she patted Wong.

"Do you have ice cream?"

"Of course."

"Let's go."

* * *

-In the comics, Stephen and Wong seem to have Twitter acounts and emails so that part is not OOC. The advertising part is OOC but yeah, it's crack.

-Some of the events mentioned here haven't happened in "Doctor Strange - Superheroes' (plus anti-heroes and supervillains) Physician Extraordinaire" so yeah, slight spoilers there XD  
-This fic was inspired by this post on Tumblr: lovethedanielhd dot tumblr dot com/post/180414328768/oh-tony  
I was talking to a friend about the post and I had the idea of him opening portals and became the best personal shopper.  
-Comments? Suggetions? Feedback?


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